She's Blonde, She's Ice, She's Metal
Hafa adai, Universe! Hmm, this is going to be the longest post yet. I've taken the initiative to break it down to parts so please feel free to jump around. What shall we talk about first? Do you want to talk about hair, ice, metal, and Self-Realization? How about we lighten things up a bit with an appetizer of hair? Please say you want to talk about my herrr because I totally want to talk about my blonde new pet!
Lately, I seem to have been preoccupied with my locks since I decided on a rather drastic change. When I was younger, I had a strong admiration for blonde hair. I remember wanting to "feel" what blonde felt like ... if you can say there's such a thing as "feeling blonde". There's this particular memory as a teenager ... One of my sisters was feeling brave to fork out some dough on a box of blonde hair color at the grocery store. Yes, the grocery store. I was hysterically amused because it turned the top part of her hair reddish orange, and after witnessing that unfortunate but funny episode, the lingering desire to play blonde sorta fizzled out for me. It got me thinking that blonde on dark, thick, coarse Chamorrita hair was nothing more than a pipe dream for island girls.
These days, I'm feeling more and more brave mahself - brave to dare to be blonde, brave to reveal the blonde heart that pumps earth metal Taurean Venus blood through these light vessels of mine.
As expected, the process to let in the Light was a long, smelly, burning, and daunting one - daunting and costly because my hair passes the small of my back. OW, muthaeffer! It hurt like a b-word the first round because I figured I would start cheap by testing out shelf products - brands recommended by a YouTuber. I settled on Kaleidocolors bleach from Sally Beauty Supply, which would have been completely tolerable on the pain scale if I chose not to go blonde to the scalp. Though Kaleidocolors was more affordable than the brand I will talk with you about later, I figured that using the product long term for someone with my hair type would not be economically wise, considering I would have to bleach 20 times in order for this tropical goodness to go past strawberry. Me no want strawberry; I mean, I look decent strawberry blonde, but not the goal here. Nope. Bye bye Kaleidocolors, you hurt me a lot. *ow fuggah-fuq-fuq*
Thank gawd for Guy Tang and his YouTube-tube. I think I, like, watched all his YouTube videos, like a bajillion times, like totally. Guy Tang herrr videos are like totally bitchin'. You should, like, totally go check it out! Oh my gawd, why am I like totally talking like this, uh, like, totally.
Folks, datz "real" talk right derrr. Ookie dokie, let's stop that silly-duckiness right now. Ahhh, where was I? Oh right, let's move on to the products I used to get this Magickool Goddess La Luna Moonlight Glow / Polar Bear Ice Magick.
- Schwarzkopf Professional BLONDME Premium Care Developer 6%/20 Vol
- Schwarzkopf Professional BLONDME Premium Lift 9
- Olaplex Full Kit - Step 1, 2 & 3
- Schwarzkopf Professional BLONDME Blonde Toning - Ice
- Schwarzkopf BLONDME Crystal Developer 9% / 30 Vol
- Ojon Damage Reverse Hair Serum
Vanilla moon ice, ice blonde babay ...
So yep, that's about it for me to reach this moonlight blonde ... It took several tries to tone down the brassiness and by the January New Moon, I was nearly there. From the pictures above you can see I'm a little less brassy, eh, slightly strawberry, so I went ahead with another round of bleach and slopped on more Toning Ice the night before the January Full Moon. And boom ta-da perfectoness!
Oh boy, I cannot say it enough, I am uber happy with this level of La Luna glow. Even more uberstastically amazed at how well my hair cooperated considering the repeated subjected torture she has endured ... I was like, "Shh-up and take it like a girl, Hair. Be blonde or else!" Naw, just kidding; I coddled my locks to death with sugar talk.
Anyhoo, thank you, Hair! Thank you to my mommy for her genetic contributions! Thank you scientific geniuses, O'Glorious Geek Creators of BLONDEME, Olaplex, and Ojon! You guys are geeky smart. Yerrr. Thank you Angels, Faeries, Universe, Muses, Grandmother Moon, Goddess Aphrodite, and Goddess Lakshmi - to the beauty gods and goddesses!
By the way, I don't believe I have mentioned before that I enchant all my beauty products, mirrors, makeup brushes, and basically EVERYTHING with spells and symbols. Since the latter half of 2015, I have been writing spells with the idea that one day I'd save enough moola to buy a giant Book of Shadows from Magically Made and fill it with all my spells ... Anyway, of course I had to write a custom spell to enchant all my sacred beauty tools and adornment. And before I forget, I also make it a point to only work on a particular day of the week and at a particular phase of the moon to go with my surreptitious beauty routines and concoctions.
Bleaching my hair is pretty much an entire ritual that involves lit candles, incense, drumming, and chanting ... very similar to my ritual baths. Well, to be candid, everything I tend to do is done with intention, even drinking a glass of water requires a little blessing ... My entire day is a ritual and it is probably a fair observation to say that I have a healthy ritualistic OCD bug - possibly the Virgo aspect in me is to blame. Anyhoo, I digress. As you can see, I treat my hair, beauty, and personal care business with serioso concentration.
Come on, try it out for fun. Do a random Google search for beauty spells and pick out one that suits you. Better yet, if you're feeling up to a little creative writing, pick up a pen or pull out your keyboard and start crafting up a sweet little beauty charm of your own! Remember that if you're enchanting mirrors, clean it up first. Wipe it down and smudge that baby to clear it out. Anoint it with sacred oils. Personally, I mark a cross on each corner, but feel free to use a symbol that resonates with you. A Triquetra perhaps? Speak your chant and charge it under the Full Moon. Btways, I clean my mirrors with vinegar, water, and a smidge of whatever essential oil that seems to tickle my fancy. If you have holy water - spritz that shite on. Use what speaks to you. Rosemary and lavender are some nice contenders. You decide and have fun with it. Ooh, you can even do this with all your windows and doors. I enchant those suckas too. Ain't no bad juju coming through my home. *nu-uh uh-uh, no way*
Back on topic. I am good at this level of blonde rad. No need to venture further down the rabbit hole -- down, down, down granny gray hair mystical territory. At least not for now since I'm utterly consumed by its current state. Silver Fox, I imagine, is much more maintenance, with the additional gray toner, the purple shampoo (a must have for blonde hair, too), and whatever extra condiments that make a foxy granny gray hairdo delicious.
Prior to this change, I used to think that I was absurdly preoccupied with my raven black feathers. Apparently, my former hair preoccupation was nothing compared to how I am now. Now, it's like watching grass grow. I literally stare at myself from time to time to see what's happening. I go to sleep and wake up to new growth. This shadow growth seen here is about two weeks worth. Before, I could wash my hair three times a day without even a dent thanks to my natural triple-teflon coat (to describe my natural hair type mildly, think wired haired dog; you need several dunks for water to penetrate). Today, I dare not give this animal water, lest she transforms into wet tangled alien herr. The upside though: the arm workout has proven to be beneficial to my overall look. Yes, I realize that more than half of this post is all about my hair. You're welcome. Thank you for listening, Universe!
Metal, Metal, Metal ...
For the past few weeks, rather than lamenting on lack or loss, I've been ushering in new energies, opportunities, and people towards me and looking onward to happy, healthy ways of living and being. I've lovingly detached from parts of the matrix and from relationships that had run their course in order to keep myself from scattering Gemini air energies into a black abyss of useless chatter and starved substance. I am focusing my divine will on perfection and introspection, on my studies, my interests, my education, my spiritual practice - in all areas of my life, my health, my happiness, my creativity, etc. I am basically investing in myself, investing in living balance and wellness, and forming authentic bonds and friendships with loving, supportive people that align and connect with my creative, spiritual, personal, and career endeavors, heart's desires, and divine soul mission. My Angels and Ascended Masters encourage this new way of life, yet from the moment I could walk I never was taught how to live. What are concepts of self-love, self-care, and self-acceptance? I have been pretty much on my own since I uttered my first words, and when I was about six years old, my mother abandoned her four children and into the care of a broken man. Before 2015, self-love, self-care, self-acceptance seemed something very foreign to me.
This early conditioning of irrelevance - my once invisible existence - set the tone for the first 33 years of my life. I continued to put my inner child on the line, ignoring her needs to feel beautiful, her needs to be valued. For 33 years, I put others' desires on glorified pedestals and I stuck this little bird in a cage of denial and lack. Being blonde (talking about my hair again, I know) was divinely guided, as is this sacred divine matrix Novum137. Being blonde is one way to help me embrace a radical new me, to focus on taking care of myself, on something different, playful and free. Besides my new fun blonde hobby, I've been practicing Kriya Yoga through Self-Realization Lessons and implementing my creative talents through metal work. I'm delicately slicing and dicing elemental ingredients into my pot of life-enhancements-and-improvements stew and I'm happy as a summer poppy (aw flowers ... me heart flowers so-so-so much) for the new positive strategies I've set in place.
Before I delve into details about my spiritual practice of Self-Realization, let me first talk about METAL.
Let's begin with my first day of class at Boulder School of Metals. We mostly listened, learned, and watched demonstrations of basic metal parts and pieces, of types and styles, and of craft. We each had turns cutting out rough metals, lighting torches, texturing, and fine tuning, etcetera, etcetera. I was most excited about lighting the torch, annealing the metal, and cutting the design.
Due to my over-ambitious nature (so I've been told by the powers that be at Facebook Games), my design may be a bit on the complex side, so I decided homework was in order if I'm ever going to complete this pendant project like a good light metal being. Luckily, my teacher had extra bench saws for sale in class, she had only set them out for sale the previous day - how perfect and divine is that?! Only very.
Speaking about my teacher... You can see some of Amy's work on AmyJMetals @ Etsy and at her website AmyJMetals-dot-com. I smile at the thought of Amy being my teacher because the Universe couldn't have picked a better choice for me to learn from. Amy's pieces have an architectural, sculptural, natural, masculine and feminine energetic flow to them. These characteristics scream balance and beauty to me. It's essential to learn an art form from one that inspires the styles and qualities that you are drawn to and that keeps you open to your personal creative growth beyond the normal peaks. There is a strong, raw, elegantly refined energy with Amy's presence and her work. With that said, I am thankful to the Universe for aligning and connecting me with the perfect people and to Amy for teaching her artistic craft to aspiring artisans like myself.
With my first official metal work tool in tow - the handy dandy bench saw - I set up my jewelry station located in the Feng Shui Creative/Children/Love/Work area of our home. I work guarded by the company of Egyptian gods and goddesses *waves spirit fingers in the air - ooOooh... bows to Divine Mother Isis*. And like a good, responsible spiritualist, I set the mood with candles, a red dragon, and incense. Oh yeeahhh, wicky-wicky wah-wah, let the metal games begin. *slips on pink tutu and waves infinite power wand*
I'm gonna drift off topic slightly just to throw a wrench in there in case any of you have begun to nod off ... Are you familiar with your Kua Number? In case you're wondering, here's a Kua Number Calculator so you can look yours up. Mine is:
- Kua Number: 6,
- Element: Big Metal
- Colors: White and Silver
- Group: West
- Trigram: Chien
This explains why I fancy all things metal, white, and silver. I just can't get enough of anything metal, white, or silver. In fact, I have plans for my entire boudoir to be a homage to all things white, metal, and silver, with a romantic alluring slap of magenta. The Metal Work World couldn't be a more perfect world for me. What better outlet to form my dreams into reality than through art, metal, and fire!!
From the beginning of the design, I knew that I wanted to add spirals somehow. I thought well, what if I dazzle some spirals along the edges to soften the sharp masculine borders with dashing feminine whimsy. It was all about style and function (not at all influenced by the probability of a freak accidental stabbing jolt and bleeding out to death) to give the idea of movement, life, eternity, and gentle grace. So uh-huh you betcha', I went there with my Pink Faerie flare. Oh yes, this Pink Faerie did.
There is so much symbolism behind the spiral. I was once told (and would like to share) that in Greek culture, the spiral represents infinity. It symbolizes motion, balance, and awareness. It is also a symbol of the connection and cycle of life and of universal evolution.
Conceived on the January Full Moon, this is my Novum137 Goddess Sacred Adornment. She's part Pegasus, part Phoenix, and all Infinity. Thirteen interior cutouts reveal a monarch butterfly - 13 to represent surrender (perfect form of ultimate faith and trust), transformation, and new beginnings, the 13 moons, and turtle medicine. No force, suspend, and go with the flow. Her arms and wings usher our hearts into home as Divine Mother Isis welcomes all with the open embrace of love, nature, and balance.
We've had our fun and games. I've shared with you a few of the positive actions I'm taking in my life, about personal care and creative aspirations. Let's now flow into Self-Realization. What are your creative, spiritual, personal, family, and career endeavors? Are you already living what you love and loving what you do? What measures do you take each day to enhance and improve your life, to love and honor yourself as you deserve? What makes you happy and healthy? Are you living your true light, your authentic self, your Cosmic Christ Consciousness? What are your dreams, your visions, your heart's desires? What are your talents, skills, and abilities? What is your story? What can I learn from you and what can you teach others? Do you plan on being blonde for the heck of it? Do you want to bend metal with fire and steel? Tell me. I want to know.
There is fear about being genuinely open in this world. This blog may even make some cringe with how transparent I can be about my spirituality - cringe that I can be passionately and emotionally invested in love, light, beauty, art, and life. We are conditioned to gut our emotions deep down, to push our humanity far away from the light of day because emotions make the callous uncomfortable. This world can be loud and full of cynical critics constantly consumed by external factors, always looking for imperfections in others instead of basking in the glow of their radiant unique qualities. There are many who are not awake, stuck in an unhealthy perpetual groundhog day, mindlessly repeating yesterday's skipping beat into the record of a new present day ... Yet here they are ready to judge, coiling to strike the weak, churning to project their personal naive perceptions on strangers, their neighbors, their friends, and even their families. Everyone wants to speak their false ego, to pump their chests into another's personal space, to flex their intellectual muscles into the shoes that mark the path of your life. We are taught that loving ourselves is vain, that self-depreciation is grace. Self-depreciation and emotional coldness are nothing more than self-limiting behaviors and patterns that keeps one from true happiness and bliss.
How do I face these hindrances? I listen and let go of all that fuqd-up-shite. I release myself from all outside opinions with love and gratitude for the lessons they have taught. I stop looking for answers and solutions from people who have yet to do the spiritual work, from people whose minds are not healthy, happy, and balanced. I keep away from negative, stagnant energy. I stay away from those that impulsively externalize, that are cynical or sarcastic, the Debbie Downers and the Negative Nancys. I take time out to meditate and gain clarity, to listen to my inner knowing. Each day, I place my being in the higher hands of the Universe, in the higher hands of the Angels, and in my own trusting hands, knowing that all the resources and tools I need already resides within me. I stop going and going like a battery celled robot, searching outside myself. I quiet the mind and give myself permission to rest in introspection, allow myself to tap into my wellspring of unlimited knowledge and wisdom. I patiently listen and watch for the opportunities before me, then reach out my hand to grab all that I deserve. I know my strength through my ability to overcome adversity in a loving, compassionate way, clearly seeing that perceived obstructions do not exist unless I allow them to. Each day, I practice caution, mindfulness, and wisdom. Each day, I overcome blind ignorance by exercising my divine will to take positive action in my life. Each day, I exercise my divine will to affirm out loud that my path is clear - clear so that I may move freely towards my dreams and aspirations.
With every year notched under my belt, I cherish the stories of others, their experiences, their layers. It is through listening to others speak about their life lessons, hopes, and dreams that we can all learn, heal, grow, and be inspired. When we share ourselves with the world, we in turn teach and learn a lot about ourselves. We realize our personal power, our worth, our value. The more we share, the more we learn to appreciate others for their genuine ability to be vulnerable, to put faith and trust in another's hands the very things that we hold deep beneath the layers of skin, flesh, blood, and bones. We learn to appreciate one another's individual gifts, talents, and offerings. When we allow ourselves to be seen, when we allow others to see us, we teach the ready and willing to reciprocate the fruits that we bear. The more we accept ourselves, the more accepting we can be of those that dare to be seen, the more accepting others can be to themselves, and the more accepting others can be of us. This cycle of self-acceptance elevates us into higher vibrations and into the plane of healing.
Love fosters love. That is what I live by. Living by the heart and true to the light is mastering listening - mastering life. Living focused and centered in the heart is mastering the art of loving and celebrating yourself, the world, and all our kind. When we live in this threshold of the heart, we realize our worth, we realize that we deserve the best. With self-realization, we become the masters of our worlds, the captains of our vessels. In love and compassion, we truly know what it is to honor our sacred divine masculine and feminine energies. Through self-realization we unlock our fullest potential, unlock our ability to embody perfect divine love - the perfect love that knows to love ourselves, that knows what it is to be a beautiful reflection of that love, and knows to be open to receiving that beautiful love in return. I am infinitely grateful that from a hard beautiful life, from countless joys and pains of the realities of human existence, I am free and clear to be open and present for the presents. I am thankful that despite misdeeds dealt to me, that regardless of the mess and the drama, I am free of cynicism. I live in gratitude that my heart is clear and open to keep receiving and to keep giving. I listen to Paramahansa Yogananda and do not react to the poisons that attempt to spoil my vial of peace. I keep my heart light as the feather of truth, light and steady to the scales of Anubis and I fly lifted in the sky ever so gently with the Angels that guard and guide me.
I maintain faith and trust in humanity and the world. I maintain faith and trust in you. I see you. Take those hands and shape beauty into your world, be your beautiful, true you. Go ahead and love yourself; you are better for it. Go ahead and shine. I am infinitely grateful for your inner spark, for your infinite perfect divine being. I love you for your endless glowing light. I love you for your daring courage to glare your love and healing upon all kinds. Ah Seh Nai, Ah Seh Nai, Ah Seh Nai.
Namaste, Infinite Blessings and Pure Love always in all ways,